Boyfriend Says He Found Out Ex Was Secretly Filming Him While He Slept, Claiming It Was 'Art'

Mar. 15, 2025

Boyfriend Says He Found Out Ex Was Secretly Filming Him While He Slept, Claiming It Was ‘Art’.Photo:pipat wongsawang/Getty; BDoty/Getty

pipat wongsawang/Getty; BDoty/Getty

A Reddit user recently shared some concerns after, he wrote, his girlfriend revealed that she had taken videos of him sleeping — and she had been doing it for months.

In an anonymous post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?,” the 21-year-old man turned to the online community to seek advice about what his then-girlfriend called her art project.

Just a few days before sharing his post on Wednesday, Sept. 5, the Redditor wrote that he had discovered an entire archive of video taken every single time he had slept over at her house, 94 videos in total.

The Reddit user added that while his girlfriend said she was going to tell him eventually — “because she was sure I would be okay with it” — he felt strange about the whole thing.

He noted that he was seeking advice from the community because the incident drove him to the point he was considering breaking up with her, but he still worried that he was “overreacting.”

Stock image of a video camera.Tetra Images/Getty

Tetra Images/Getty

Commenters overwhelmingly agreed that his girlfriend was in the wrong — regardless if she believed he would have been okay with the filming, it was an invasion of privacy.

Other users wrote that they were concerned about the premise of the art project in general, and one person even recommended to the Redditor that he should alert the school that he didn’t consent to it if she actually submitted it.

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“That is seriously creepy behavior,” one person added.

Ina follow-up poston Reddit a few days later, the original user shared a few clarifying details — and revealed that he did, indeed, break up with his girlfriend.

“I asked my girlfriend if she had a backup project to submit, in the off chance that I would not have consented to being part of her current one…” the user wrote. “She said she didn’t, because she was dead certain I would.”

The man wrote that he told his girlfriend her approach to the project was “all wrong” and that he should have been involved from the beginning.

It left him “feeling like we’re not a team and she can’t be trusted,” he added.

“As someone put it in my previous post… you can’t consent after the fact. We kind of derailed into a conversation about what’s ethical,” he wrote. “Obviously, I’m not in art school doing a masters program, but I can still speak to the subject. I feel like she just bulldozed me and her defensiveness just put me off further.”

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He also wrote that while he didn’t have any issue with her project, he took issue with the way she went about obtaining the footage

“I requested her to delete it all. She said she did,” he continued. “I can only hope she did.”

He wrote that he broke up with her shortly after the videos came to light. Although he was “confused” and felt sad about the split, he added that this issue was also illustrative of a wider problem in their relationship — that his ex, in his words, had no “regard for my opinions.”

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“She always thinks she knows better, more. etc,” he wrote, noting that his “heart hurts.”

“I don’t know if she’ll submit the project anyway. If she does I’ll know for sure I did the right thing ending it,” he wrote.

The r/AITA community was fully supportive of the 21-year-old’s decision. One commenter wrote under the follow-up post that he could even look into getting a lawyer for any legal issues that might stem from this.

“This isn’t a stupid reason,” another respondent commented, referring to the breakup. “I hadn’t seen the original post but when I read it, it left me speechless. I’m not sure what would have led her to believe anyone would be okay with that.”

source: people.com