Chad Michael Murray Says His Definition of Sexy Is Kindness and 'Not Having Regret When You Go to Sleep' (Exclusive)

Mar. 15, 2025

Chad Michael Murray.Photo:Gregg DeGuire/WireImage; Alberto Rodriguez/Variety via Getty

Gregg DeGuire/WireImage; Alberto Rodriguez/Variety via Getty

ForChad Michael Murray, sexy is a state of mind.As the actor, 43, gets ready to turn up the heat this holiday season with his new Netflix Christmas movieThe Merry Gentlemen, he spoke exclusively with PEOPLE about how exactly he defines the word “sexy” in anticipation of the reveal of this year’sSexiest Man Alive.“There’s so many different things that make somebody sexy,” he says. “It’s a combination of being confident in who you are, knowing who you are and just being comfortable in that, no matter what you look or feel like.”“Sexy is a state of mind,” he continues, noting it’s not just a “visual reflection” of the person. “It’s confidence, it’s sitting right with yourself. It’s laying your head to bed at night and knowing you had a good day and you did what you could do, and not having regret when you go to sleep.“He adds that someone who’s “selfless and kind” and “embodies that as a leader” to others is sexy. “Other people can look at them and go, ‘Okay, that I dig, that I get, not to mention, I really like how they wear that suit or I really like how they wear that dress.’”Chad Michael Murray in Netflix’s ‘The Merry Gentlemen’.NetflixOf course, Murray knows a thing or two about sexiness himself, asa former teen heartthrob. After being featured inTeen People’s 50 Sexiest Guys Everlist two decades ago, theOne Tree Hillalum notes he looks back on his “heartthrob” era a little differently now as an adult.“If it were today, I wouldn’t even think about it, it wouldn’t even dawn on me, but when you’re 20, 21, 22, I know that I was so much more self-aware of everything,” he notes. “You’re worried about every piece of hair. You’re worried about how your clothes look on any given day, even when you don’t realize that you dress God awful.”“So I think that that part of my life was so very different to who I am, and what I experience because I’m such a homebody, I’m such like a blue-collar worker, and that’s just how I like to keep things,” he continues. “Through that kind of 21 to 24 phase, it was so much to take in, and there’s no book on, ‘Hey, this is how you micromanage each and every moment. This is how you learn to say no to A, B, C and D without offending people. There’s no handbook on gratitude to teach you like, ‘Hey, don’t look at what you don’t have, just be grateful for what you do and the rest will take care of itself.’”“There’s no way to really know how something’s going to affect you. Like I said, if it was today, I would probably giggle and laugh and be flattered, but at the same time, I think it’s the goofiest thing in the world, but at 21, I probably thought, ‘Oh, I’m so cool.’ I was such a nerd. It’s the total opposite, that’s what’s funny.”Chad Michael Murray in One Tree Hill.AlamyThat said, he wouldn’t necessarily change any of his previous experiences. “If I hadn’t gone through all the things that I had gone through, I wouldn’t be where I am now,” says Murray, who was previously married to hisOne Tree Hillco-starSophia Bushand now shares three children with actressSarah Roemer, who he married in 2014. “I think it’s nice to have people in your life that say no. I think those are the times when you really grow. The growth doesn’t come when things are handed to you, but the growth comes when things are taken away, when people say no instead of yes all the time. And then you just start to learn what matters.”As for advice he’d give his younger self, he would try to have more mentors. “Once I surrounded myself with a group of people who I looked up to and respected, that had a big effect on who I was as a human being,” he says. “I would try to surround that young guy with mentors to teach them and just to be an example. Because a lot of times with kids — [like myself at the time] — [advice goes] in one ear and out the other. You may listen to it, but you don’t hear it. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. But you think it’s now, now, now, now, now, now, now. I’ve got to hit this now, now, now, now, now. I mean, gosh, here we are 25 years later and I’m still working, but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.”

ForChad Michael Murray, sexy is a state of mind.

As the actor, 43, gets ready to turn up the heat this holiday season with his new Netflix Christmas movieThe Merry Gentlemen, he spoke exclusively with PEOPLE about how exactly he defines the word “sexy” in anticipation of the reveal of this year’sSexiest Man Alive.

“There’s so many different things that make somebody sexy,” he says. “It’s a combination of being confident in who you are, knowing who you are and just being comfortable in that, no matter what you look or feel like.”

“Sexy is a state of mind,” he continues, noting it’s not just a “visual reflection” of the person. “It’s confidence, it’s sitting right with yourself. It’s laying your head to bed at night and knowing you had a good day and you did what you could do, and not having regret when you go to sleep.”

He adds that someone who’s “selfless and kind” and “embodies that as a leader” to others is sexy. “Other people can look at them and go, ‘Okay, that I dig, that I get, not to mention, I really like how they wear that suit or I really like how they wear that dress.’”

Chad Michael Murray in Netflix’s ‘The Merry Gentlemen’.Netflix

Netflix

Of course, Murray knows a thing or two about sexiness himself, asa former teen heartthrob. After being featured inTeen People’s 50 Sexiest Guys Everlist two decades ago, theOne Tree Hillalum notes he looks back on his “heartthrob” era a little differently now as an adult.

“If it were today, I wouldn’t even think about it, it wouldn’t even dawn on me, but when you’re 20, 21, 22, I know that I was so much more self-aware of everything,” he notes. “You’re worried about every piece of hair. You’re worried about how your clothes look on any given day, even when you don’t realize that you dress God awful.”

“So I think that that part of my life was so very different to who I am, and what I experience because I’m such a homebody, I’m such like a blue-collar worker, and that’s just how I like to keep things,” he continues. “Through that kind of 21 to 24 phase, it was so much to take in, and there’s no book on, ‘Hey, this is how you micromanage each and every moment. This is how you learn to say no to A, B, C and D without offending people. There’s no handbook on gratitude to teach you like, ‘Hey, don’t look at what you don’t have, just be grateful for what you do and the rest will take care of itself.’”

“There’s no way to really know how something’s going to affect you. Like I said, if it was today, I would probably giggle and laugh and be flattered, but at the same time, I think it’s the goofiest thing in the world, but at 21, I probably thought, ‘Oh, I’m so cool.’ I was such a nerd. It’s the total opposite, that’s what’s funny.”

Chad Michael Murray in One Tree Hill.Alamy

Alamy

That said, he wouldn’t necessarily change any of his previous experiences. “If I hadn’t gone through all the things that I had gone through, I wouldn’t be where I am now,” says Murray, who was previously married to hisOne Tree Hillco-starSophia Bushand now shares three children with actressSarah Roemer, who he married in 2014. “I think it’s nice to have people in your life that say no. I think those are the times when you really grow. The growth doesn’t come when things are handed to you, but the growth comes when things are taken away, when people say no instead of yes all the time. And then you just start to learn what matters.”

As for advice he’d give his younger self, he would try to have more mentors. “Once I surrounded myself with a group of people who I looked up to and respected, that had a big effect on who I was as a human being,” he says. “I would try to surround that young guy with mentors to teach them and just to be an example. Because a lot of times with kids — [like myself at the time] — [advice goes] in one ear and out the other. You may listen to it, but you don’t hear it. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. But you think it’s now, now, now, now, now, now, now. I’ve got to hit this now, now, now, now, now. I mean, gosh, here we are 25 years later and I’m still working, but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.”

source: people.com