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It was love at first sight forEllen DeGeneresandPortia de Rossi.
Aftermeeting backstageat a concert in 2001, DeGeneres and de Rossi formed an instant connection. However, de Rossi hadn’t yet come out as a gay woman and DeGeneres had no idea how theAlly McBealactress felt. It took three years for the pair to finally admit their feelings to each other and from there, things moved quickly.
“She is the kindest, most generous, most loving, loyal, trustworthy person I have ever known. She’s a veryspecial human being. Some of it sometimes rubs off on me,” de Rossi told PEOPLE in 2021.
From their first connection to their philanthropic efforts, here’s everything to know aboutEllen DeGeneresand Portia de Rossi’s relationship.
DeGeneres and de Rossimet for the first timeat a Rock the Vote concert back in 2001. At the time, de Rossi had not yet publicly come out as a lesbian, but later recalled that it was love at first sight. “I remember thinking that she was the coolest, most fascinating, beautiful, funniest person I’d ever met,” she later told PEOPLE.
The duo briefly chatted at the concert and ran into each other several times over the next few years — but it took some time for them to confess their mutual attraction.
“[I knew she was the one for me] when I first laid eyes on her,” de Rossi saidin an interviewwithOprah Winfreyin 2009. “But it took me three years to actually tell her how I felt about her because I was onAlly McBealat the time and I was not living as an openly gay person. I was closeted and very, very afraid that if I talked about being gay, it would be the end of my career. So, I wasn’t about to date the most famous lesbian in the world.”
In 2004, DeGeneres and de Rossi ran into each other again — a moment de Rossi later said changed everything for her.
“I ran into Ellen at a photo shoot about a year ago and she took my breath away,” de Rossi toldThe Advocatein 2005. “That had never happened to me in my life, where I saw somebody and [experienced] all of those things you hear about in songs and read about in poetry. My knees were weak. It was amazing. And it was very hard for me to get her out of my mind after that.”
At the time, the comedian and theArrested Developmentactress were both in long-term relationships, DeGeneres with photographer Alexandra Hedison and de Rossi with singer Francesca Gregorini. Afterending thingswith their respective partners, DeGeneres and de Rossi began dating.
“She had a girlfriend and I had a girlfriend, but it wasn’t like, ‘Oh, we’re going to have an affair.’ We were just supposed to be together,” DeGeneres told PEOPLE in 2005. “It was a tough decision. I was physically getting sick because I was trying not to say anything. So I told Alex and she told Francesca. It was really hard to uproot everything.”
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Not long after, DeGeneres and de Rossi made their relationship public when they attended a Golden Globe Awards afterparty together.
“It was a big deal for her to be seen with me,” DeGeneres recalled. “The very first time we were photographed together was when I joined her at theGolden Globesafterparty. And that’s when everyone knew thatwe were together.”
Several months after quietly coming out, de Rossi spoke toThe Advocateabout her relationship with DeGeneres. She shared that they had a “very respectful, very loving, peaceful relationship,” which made her feel “not alone” for the first time in her life.
De Rossi also opened up about her experience being a public figure coming out as gay.
“My feelings for her overrode all of my fear about being out as a lesbian,” she said of her then-girlfriend. “I had to be with her, and I just figured I’d deal with the other stuff later. It’s hard having a relationship that’s public. It’s hard living a life that’s somewhat public, and hard when you put that life together with someone who is so famous and so loved and admired. It’s also real exciting.”
Later that year, DeGeneres and de Rossi made their red carpet debut at the PrimetimeEmmy Awards, where DeGeneres latertook the stageas host.
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Almost a year into her relationship, DeGeneres told PEOPLE that she knewde Rossi was the one.
“It’s the first time that I’ve known in every cell of my being that I’m with somebody for the rest of my life,” DeGeneres said. She added, “If it were legal, we would be married, but it’s not legal.”
The talk show host reiterated she and de Rossi were soulmates again a few years later.
“I could say the same thing I’ve said in every relationship: ‘I’m happy.’ But there’s happiness and there’s love, and then there’s completion,” DeGeneres said in an interview. “It doesn’t take away from any of the relationships that I’ve had, ‘cause I’ve had amazing relationships. … But I feel like I foundmy perfect fit.”
DeGeneres and de Rossi had been planning a commitment ceremony when the California Supreme Court struck down a law banning same-sex marriage — and DeGenerespopped the questionshortly after. She announced their engagement onThe Ellen DeGeneres Show.
“Ellen was going to surprise me with a commitment ceremony at a joint birthday party that we were going to have,” de Rossi later shared onThe Oprah Show. “So we made the date of August the 16th, and then during that time, gay marriage became legal in California. So we were about to have this ceremony and then, all of a sudden, it was like a gift that it was then legal.”
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Three months later, DeGeneres and de Rossimarried in an intimate ceremonyat their home in Los Angeles. DeGeneres’ momBetty DeGeneresand de Rossi’s motherMargaret Rogers, who flew in from Australia, were among the 19 guests at the special occasion.
Just months after saying “I do,” de Rossi opened up about how her life had “completely changed” since marrying DeGeneres. She had not only emerged with the confidence to “live an honest, open life” — she also felt more secure.
“Marriage is a different way of being together,” theBetter Off Tedactress told PEOPLE. “There’s a peace to [being married] and a sense of togetherness that we just didn’t have before. And I didn’t even realize it would change as much as it has, but it’s so lovely.”
De Rossi continued: “It’s legal, and it’s real, so there’s that kind of formality to it that makes it very valid. I think the emotions that went with that as a gay woman kind of surprised me — that I would be that relieved to have my mother be present at the ceremony to bless the union, and to call [Ellen] her daughter-in-law.”
She continued, “It’s just a huge responsibility, and I don’t know that that’s something we want to take on. We’re very happily married without children.”
“I feel very fortunate. I feel really, really lucky to have found that connection,” DeGeneres told Winfrey. “It feels like you’re home. There’s an anchor. There’s a safety.”
The couple also addressed thepassing of Prop 8, the 2008 ballot proposition that re-banned same-sex marriage in California. DeGeneres and de Rossi’s marriage would remain intact, but they expressed their disappointment in the decision.
“We cried,” DeGeneres said. “It was just a bad sign for humanity, I thought. It was sad, and I think it’s fear tactics. I don’t know how my love impacts somebody else’s life. It’s just my love. It was heartbreaking.”
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In August 2010, de Rossi filed to legally change her name toPortia Lee James DeGeneresin order to take “the last name of her spouse.” The L.A. County Superior Courtapproved her requestthat September. She continued to use the surname de Rossi in her professional life.
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Through 2015, DeGeneres and de Rossi continued to face divorce rumors.During an interviewwithHoward Stern, DeGeneres set the record straight. She explained that she thought the tabloids continued to make up divorce rumors because the couple were “boring” otherwise, and they were considering taking legal action.
“I don’t understand why they do it,” DeGeneres said. “We’re kind of flattered because for a while no one cared about us, and we thought, ‘Oh, lesbians aren’t worthy of tabloid stories.’ So now we’re kind of flattered that they care about us. [But] we really don’t almost break up, we don’t fight, we are madly in love, and I guess it’s boring.”
DeGeneres and de Rossi added a new member to their family —an adorable puppy. While the couple already had several animals, this particular pup’s name was a cheeky nod to a question they were asked all the time.
“I named him Kid because, ya know … there have been rumors forever,” DeGeneres said on her show. “‘When are you and Portia gonna have a kid?’ So, now I can say, ‘We have a Kid.’ So it can just stop.”
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Later that year, DeGeneres shared her secret to a successful marriage, explaining that the coupleprioritize each otherover their careers and constantly remind each other of how lucky they are.
“Portia and I constantly say to each other, ‘We are so lucky.’ Sometimes it’s lying in bed at night before I go to sleep, and I just say thank you to whatever, whoever is out there,” she told PEOPLE. “I’ve gotten to a place where I really am just settled. Really. I know that I’m not going anywhere. She’s not going anywhere.”
In honor of DeGeneres' 60th birthday, de Rossi surprised her withtwo special gifts: agorilla sanctuaryin her name at a Rwandan national park and theEllen DeGeneresWildlife Fund.
The Wildlife Fund aims to protect and advocate for the world’s most vulnerable animals and wildlife, while the sanctuary would become a permanent and safe home for the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund.
The couple also shared the speech that their officiant, philosopherWayne Dyer, gave after they exchanged vows. de Rossi wrote, “We wanted to share Wayne Dyer’s poignant and special words with you to remind us all how far we’ve come — that we are living in a country that supports #marriageequality.”
In 2019, DeGeneres and de Rossicommemorated 15 yearssince they began dating. To mark the special occasion, DeGeneres hired a plane with a banner that read “15 ❤️” to fly over their home — but the writing turned out smaller than anticipated and the duo had some trouble reading it.
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Even after a decade of marriage, DeGeneres was still pulling out all the stops for de Rossi. She explained that every time de Rossi leaves town, she arranges for something special to be waiting for her at her hotel.
“Whenever Portia has to go out of town and I’m not with her, I surprise her and I call the hotel and I set it up,” DeGeneres shared on an episode ofher talk show. “They put a huge heart-shaped thing of rose petals on her bed. So when she walks into the room, the whole bed is covered with a heart-shaped rose petal.”
In early 2020, DeGeneres and de Rossi began isolating in their home amid the COVID-19 pandemic. While the couple had funplaying games and doing puzzles, they also made a$1 million donationto pandemic relief efforts. Their contribution went toward the All-In Challenge, an initiative that aimed to raise $100 million for nonprofits supporting vulnerable communities during the pandemic.
The couple were inspired to donate to the campaign afterLeonardo DiCaprioandRobert De Nironominated them.
“It’s heartbreaking and it’s overwhelming,” DeGeneres said at the time. “I’ve already given to some of my favorite charities, including Direct Relief, because so many people need money. But today, Portia and I are personally donating $1 million to Meals on Wheels, No Kid Hungry and America’s Food Fund.”
From her home, the talk show host added, “I usually don’t talk about my personal donations, it’s something I keep private, but I’m really hoping that this inspires anyone who’s in a position to help, to help. Because there’s a lot of need out there.”
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“To all our fans….we see you. Thank you for your support,” de Rossi wrote on Instagram, adding several related hashtags, including the phrase DeGeneres uses to close out her show: “Be kind to one another.”
DeGeneres later told PEOPLE that de Rossi was a major source of support during the difficult time.
“It broke my heart; I couldn’t have gone through everything I went through without her. It was a horrible time in my life, andshe was a rock,” DeGeneres told PEOPLE. “She kept me going and tried to help me put things in perspective.”
She added, “We’re lucky to have each other. We practice a lot of gratitude.”
During an interview for PEOPLE’s Love Issue, de Rossi shared that, prior to her relationship with DeGeneres, she “really wasn’t comfortable” with her own sexuality — but her futurewife helped herthrough it.
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“I am happy to report Portia is feeling much better now,” DeGeneres said. “She’s home. She came home late yesterday. Not all of her, she left her appendix at the hospital. I’m going to auction off the appendix for charity. I’m kidding, it’s gonna go on eBay.”
After recovering from her appendicitis, de Rossi helped DeGeneres celebrate3,000 episodesofTheEllen DeGeneresShow. The proud wife showed up to set with a spread of cupcakes and later shared a videoon Instagram.
“Congratulations on 3000 episodes, brilliant woman!” she wrote.
DeGeneres and de Rossi posted social media tributes to each other on their13th wedding anniversaryin 2021. DeGeneres shared a selfie with the caption, “Happy anniversary, Portia. I’m the luckiest girl in the world because I get to share my life with you.” For her post, de Rossi opted for a carousel of photos.
“13 years ago I married the love of my life. And it just keeps getting better ♥️🥂,” she wrote in the caption.
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TheEllen DeGeneresShow’s finale aired in May 2022, after 19 seasons on the air. The couple shared that they had big plans for the summer and the time off.
DeGeneres told PEOPLE that they planned to kick things off with asafari in Rwanda, where they would also celebrate the grand opening of theEllen DeGeneresCampus of theDian Fossey Gorilla Fund.
In December 2022, DeGeneres and de Rossi marked another milestone in their relationship:18 years together.
The retired talk show host penned a sweet message to her wife in honor of the anniversary, writing, “It’s our 18 year anniversary today. I fall in love with her more every day. I’m so grateful for her love.”
A few months earlier, DeGeneres celebratedNational Coming Out Daywith another tribute to de Rossi. “Coming out was the best choice I ever made. Look what it got me. #NationalComingOutDay,” she wrote alongside a photo of her and de Rossi standing on a beach.
DeGeneres celebrated de Rossi’s birthday milestone with a post onInstagram.
“Happy birthday, Portia. Thank God for you,” she captioned an image of her wife.
“Surprise! You don’t have to say anything at all,” de Rossi said as the ceremony begins.
In her caption, DeGeneres called her wife “the greatest gift” and directed followers to thefull videoon YouTube.
In the longer clip, Jenner praised the two as “one of my favorite couples” before stepping away to allow de Rossi to speak to DeGeneres and their guests. “When I was thinking about what would make my birthday really special, apart from being with family and friends, it was reminding you that you’re the most important thing in the world to me in front of family and friends,” she said before talking about the couple’s special relationship and their future.
DeGeneres loves flipping houses, while de Rossi would rather be hanging out with her horses.
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DeGeneres and de Rossi joinedKris JennerandCorey Gambleon ayacht off the coast of Spain. The reality star shared a photo of the four friends on Instagram and wrote: “Life was meant for good friends and great adventures!”
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In honor of their wedding anniversary, DeGeneres penned a sweet post on Instagram about de Rossi.
After nearly two decades together, DeGeneres and de Rossi decided to share their best relationship advice in a video on Instagram.
“Don’t ever lieabout anything,” de Rossi said. DeGeneres agreed and added, “You shouldn’t take someone for granted. I tell [de Rossi] she’s pretty all the time.”
DeGeneres' farewell comedy tour kicked off in June 2024. A source told PEOPLE that de Rossi is “super supportive” of her wife but “loves” when they’re both at home in Montecito, California.
“They have created a special life in Montecito,” the insider added. “It’s truly a magical place.”
According to a source, DeGeneres and de Rossi havemoved to the Cotswoldsin England.
“Ellen was in England house hunting [at] the beginning of October. She ended up finding a house that she loved and purchased it shortly after,” the insider explained to PEOPLE.
Several celebrities, includingDavidandVictoria Beckham,Kate MossandElizabeth Hurleyhave homes in the area.
source: people.com