Micro-Preemie Mom Didn't Know If She'd 'Be Writing an Obituary or Birth Announcement' When Baby Arrived at 25 Weeks (Exclusive)

Mar. 15, 2025

Katelyn and her husband with Nora at birth (left) and recently.Photo:katelyn_thenicumama/TikTok; emilia.j.photos

katelyn_thenicumama/TikTok; emilia.j.photos

“I had started spotting on May 3. I called the emergency line at my doctor. It was very minimal, but I was nervous. So I called and they said, ‘Go ahead and go to sleep, but come in tomorrow morning for our first available appointment.’ When I went, they did an extra ultrasound, checked everything and I checked out completely normal,” she explains.

Katelyn tells PEOPLE that her medical team instructed her to go “straight to labor and delivery” if she experienced active bleedings or pains in a pattern.

“May 5 was a normal day and then I started to have some cramping in the late afternoon, but no pattern to it. I figured I’d been really stressed and maybe it wasBraxton Hicks. I kept paying attention and went out to a Cinco de Mayo party with my family to try and get my mind off of it,” she recalls.

“The pain started getting worse, but still no pattern or active bleeding. I drove myself home and when I got home and went to change clothes, I was actively bleeding.”

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Katelyn called her husband and explained the situation, asking him to meet her at the hospital. She got there first and checked herself in, also letting her family know what was going on.

“When I get to the hospital they do a pretty routine check into triage. I was 25 weeks; I think they sort of expected run-of-the-mill stuff. The doctor comes in and describes a test they can give to see if you’ll go into labor in the next two weeks. Before that, he says, ‘For good measure, I’m going to check your cervix.'”

When he did, he apologized to Katelyn and informed her she was already eight centimeters dilated. At that point, “things dramatically shifted.”

It was a whirlwind for the first-time mom, who wasn’t entirely sure what would happen next. She tried to ask if she would get to go home, at which point she was gently informed that regardless of what happened next, she’d be in the hospital for the remainder of her pregnancy.

Katelyn knew they were. “And it was just like this big moment of, ‘This isn’t stopping.’ All of a sudden my doctor showed up and he said, ‘I’m so sorry to tell you but her foot is through your cervix. We’re at a very high risk of infection. We need to have a birthday now.'”

Katelyn’s husband ran in as they were preparing to take her to the operating room. Nervous, the frazzled couple quickly welcomed daughter Nora.

“You realize what you’re in for and it’s a pretty heavy feeling,” Katelyn continues. “But I was really hopeful. Everyone at the hospital was so nice and I just wanted to be nice back. It sounds lame, but you have nothing else to offer each other because neither of you can control the outcome.”

Nora experienced a pulmonary hemorrhage 36 hours after she was born. It was another terrifying experience for the family, who had since learned an “incompetent cervix” was the cause of Nora’s premature birth.

“It’s kind of something where you either survive it or you don’t. The odds are terrible. So you think because you’re 36 hours in and she’s still here that things are okay and then this big thing happens.”

It was at that time that Katelyn started to turn to social media. While she and her husband had the support of their immediate families, they made the difficult decision not to share news of Nora’s birth with anyone else.

“Most babies are born and you get to tell your friends. You’re so excited, it’s such a happy thing. But I didn’t know if I’d be writing an obituary or a birth announcement. We just didn’t know,” Katelyn says.

“Maybe nobody I know personally, but somebody out there has. I need to talk to that person and I need to find them because I need somebody who has walked this walk to tell me that I can do it because I am so scared.”

It started with posting to a subgroup for fans of the true crime podcastMy Favorite Murderon Facebook. “I started posting there every week and it kind of became a thing where I found help that way,” she recalls.

She expanded to other platforms as she navigated Nora’s 118 days in the NICU, while her husband worked to support their family.

“My husband is a truly incredible man. I remember pumping at the hospital and it was his job to run the milk from me to the NICU,” she shares. “Even in our darkest days, he’d dance around the room with the little bit of breastmilk I managed to pump and celebrated our little wins because what else can you do? I am so lucky.”

“We decided to save his paternity leave so that it wouldn’t be just the both of us sitting in the hospital. We wanted to save it for when it was more productive for to have both of us home. So he worked that summer and I went to the hospital every day,” Katelyn explains.

Along with the couple’s parents, social media provided her the support she needed.

“I may not personally know anyone who has an incompetent cervix but I have met hundreds of women on the Internet who have had it,” Katelyn says. “Not only have they had it, but they’ve gone on to have future successful pregnancies and are living great lives. To see that modeled and that it can work out that way is huge for us. If we ever do attempt it again, there’s hope.”

She also found hope in the staff at the hospital, who she “became besties with,” she adds.

“I met a nurse that I want to be one day, because I was in nursing school when this all happened and one day, I’ll go back. She was funny, which I know it doesn’t sound like a funny time, but oh, I so needed to laugh. She gave me that,” she shares.

After she graduated from the NICU, Nora did “occupational therapy, feeding therapy and physical therapy for about eight months.”

Nora and her parents recently.emilia.j.photos

emilia.j.photos

The family is looking forward to the holiday season, the first they’ll get to go all out with their little girl for.

“I think there’s so much magic to be made at Christmas. I just can’t wait to take like every little opportunity to make it so special — decorating the tree, gingerbread houses, give it to me,” Katelyn says. “We didn’t do any of it last year because we were afraid to get sick. This year, I am just into the holly jolly.”

source: people.com