The Biggest Bombshells from Abraham Lincoln DocumentaryLover of Men:Lust, Marriage and 'Perfect' Thighs

Mar. 15, 2025

Abraham Lincoln in 1865.Photo:Science History Images/Alamy

Science History Images/Alamy

The new documentaryLover of Men: The Untold History of Abraham Lincolngoes behind the scenes of the 16th president’s life — and into his bedroom.

Was Lincoln queer? In recent years, there’s been mounting speculation that he was, andLover of Menmakes its case through the writings of Lincoln and his contemporaries (letters, biographies, etc.) as well as commentary from assorted historians and scholars.

Lover of Menfocuses on his relationships with four men — William “Billy” Greene, Elmer Ellsworth, David Derickson and Joshua Speed — while also examining the sexual and social customs of the times.

The four men played pivotal roles in his Lincoln’s life and, according to the documentary, all were romantically involved with him at various points. Speed, in particular, is described as “the love of Lincoln’s life.”

“If there were no letters, if there were no records, if there was no documentary evidence, I could not conclude in good faith that Lincoln was a lover of men,” Occidental College professor Thomas Balcerski, who is one of the experts featured in the film, tells PEOPLE. “But we have the receipts.”

Here are some of the documentary’s most surprising revelations and allegations.

01of 08

As a young man, Lincoln was not especially interested in the company of women

Abraham Lincoln.Getty

Getty

In response to what professor Michael Chesson of the University of Massachusetts calls “Lincoln’s avoidance or aversion to young women,” and further evidence that he had little interest in the opposite sex during his younger years, historian Dr. Charles Strozier says, “I think it suggests Lincoln may have been a virgin at 33.” That’s how old he was in 1842 when he married Mary Todd, who would one day be first lady of the United States. The couple went on to have four children together.

Balcerski, though, respectfully disagrees with Strozier’s assessment of Lincoln as possibly being a 33-year-old virgin. “We don’t have any sources that show Lincoln ever being sexually passionate with women before his marriage to Mary Todd,” he tells PEOPLE. “I don’t see these supposed romances that scholars have held on to for generations, including one fabricated one with Ann Rutledge.”

So, he adds, “You have two theories: He’s a virgin, which I dismiss, or his sexual needs were being met through men…. I can conclude that Lincoln had his physical needs met through contact with other men, and I can see it as a pattern in his life.”

02of 08In his early 20s, Lincoln slept in the same cot as a male colleagueWilliam Greene.Interim Archives/GettyLincoln was in his early 20s when he moved to New Salem, Ill., where he met William Greene, a worker in a local general store. According to the documentary, Greene would become the first key man in Lincoln’s life, and the two were inseparable for a time, even while sleeping.Greene wrote in an 1865 letter that’s presented in the documentary: “Mr. Lincoln and I clerked together for about 18 months and slept in the same cot. And when one turned over, the other had to do likewise.“Chesson elaborates on the sleeping arrangement: “They were sleeping pressed together so they wouldn’t fall off the cot — spooning. I can’t imagine sleeping like that would have been tolerable for either one of them if they didn’t like it.”

02of 08

In his early 20s, Lincoln slept in the same cot as a male colleague

William Greene.Interim Archives/Getty

Interim Archives/Getty

Lincoln was in his early 20s when he moved to New Salem, Ill., where he met William Greene, a worker in a local general store. According to the documentary, Greene would become the first key man in Lincoln’s life, and the two were inseparable for a time, even while sleeping.

Greene wrote in an 1865 letter that’s presented in the documentary: “Mr. Lincoln and I clerked together for about 18 months and slept in the same cot. And when one turned over, the other had to do likewise.”

Chesson elaborates on the sleeping arrangement: “They were sleeping pressed together so they wouldn’t fall off the cot — spooning. I can’t imagine sleeping like that would have been tolerable for either one of them if they didn’t like it.”

03of 08

When Lincoln first met Joshua Speed it was ‘lust at first sight’

Joshua Speed.Universal History Archive/Universal Images Group via Getty

Universal History Archive/Universal Images Group via Getty

In the spring of 1837, Lincoln moved to Springfield, Ill., after he had passed the bar and officially become a lawyer. One of the first people he met there, while looking for material for a bed, was Joshua Speed, the co-owner of a local general store. When Lincoln said he didn’t have $17 to buy a mattress, according to the doc, “Joshua Speed says, ‘Well, I have a big double bed upstairs. Go upstairs and check it out.’ "

04of 08Speed made Lincoln more presidentialAbraham Lincoln.Wikimedia CommonsLover of Mensuggests that Speed, not Lincoln’s wife, Mary Todd Lincoln, was the person who truly groomed Lincoln for the presidency. “Who’s the real woman behind Abraham Lincoln the man? Joshua Speed,” Balcerski says. “Mary Todd gets the credit. Joshua Speed did the work.““Lincoln was an uncouth country bumpkin, very folksy in his mannerisms and his speech. He wore highwater pants,” Chesson says. Adds Harvard professor John Stauffer, “Lincoln always had a bad-hair day.“Speed gave him an extreme makeover, helping him become more metrosexual, to use a modern term that didn’t exist in the 19th century, and presidential in appearance.

04of 08

Speed made Lincoln more presidential

Abraham Lincoln.Wikimedia Commons

Lover of Mensuggests that Speed, not Lincoln’s wife, Mary Todd Lincoln, was the person who truly groomed Lincoln for the presidency. “Who’s the real woman behind Abraham Lincoln the man? Joshua Speed,” Balcerski says. “Mary Todd gets the credit. Joshua Speed did the work.”

“Lincoln was an uncouth country bumpkin, very folksy in his mannerisms and his speech. He wore highwater pants,” Chesson says. Adds Harvard professor John Stauffer, “Lincoln always had a bad-hair day.”

Speed gave him an extreme makeover, helping him become more metrosexual, to use a modern term that didn’t exist in the 19th century, and presidential in appearance.

05of 08

Lincoln fell into a suicidal depression when Speed left to move back home

At the beginning of 1841, Lincoln learned that Speed was moving back to his home state of Kentucky to help his mother run the family farm following the death of his father. Aperiod of dark “suicidal depression” followed, during which Lincoln’s friends are said to have “established a kind of suicide watch,” hiding away all sharp objects and anything else Lincoln might use to inflict self-harm.

06of 08Lincoln and Mary Todd never would’ve married if not for SpeedAn illustration of Abraham Lincoln and Mary Todd Lincoln.GettyBefore his departure back to Kentucky, Speed introduced Lincoln to Mary Todd, who was from a wealthy slave-owning Southern family.Lincoln started a relationship with Todd, much to the annoyance of Speed, according to the documentary. They became engaged before Lincoln abruptly broke it off. “Lincoln realizes that this courtship with Mary Todd has set into motion an estrangement with his dearest companion, his bedmate and lover,” Balcerski says in the documentary. “So Lincoln chose to break the engagement.“While Lincoln was visiting Speed in Kentucky, where he witnessed the horrors of slavery up close for the first time, Speed got engaged. After consummating his marriage, he wrote to Lincoln to share the news, according to the doc. “Joshua Speed, in that moment, assured Lincoln, for his own wellness, that sex with women was manageable,” says Balcerski.A series of intensely passionate letters from Lincoln to Speed that the future U.S. president signed “Yours forever” followed. By the spring of 1842, Lincoln had resumed courting Mary Todd, and he married her in November of that same year. “He was reluctant to marry, but Lincoln marries up,” says Stauffer. “That helped Lincoln a lot, and Lincoln knew he would be a better politician with Mary Todd as his wife. She was very important to Lincoln’s rise in politics.”

06of 08

Lincoln and Mary Todd never would’ve married if not for Speed

An illustration of Abraham Lincoln and Mary Todd Lincoln.Getty

Before his departure back to Kentucky, Speed introduced Lincoln to Mary Todd, who was from a wealthy slave-owning Southern family.

Lincoln started a relationship with Todd, much to the annoyance of Speed, according to the documentary. They became engaged before Lincoln abruptly broke it off. “Lincoln realizes that this courtship with Mary Todd has set into motion an estrangement with his dearest companion, his bedmate and lover,” Balcerski says in the documentary. “So Lincoln chose to break the engagement.”

While Lincoln was visiting Speed in Kentucky, where he witnessed the horrors of slavery up close for the first time, Speed got engaged. After consummating his marriage, he wrote to Lincoln to share the news, according to the doc. “Joshua Speed, in that moment, assured Lincoln, for his own wellness, that sex with women was manageable,” says Balcerski.

A series of intensely passionate letters from Lincoln to Speed that the future U.S. president signed “Yours forever” followed. By the spring of 1842, Lincoln had resumed courting Mary Todd, and he married her in November of that same year. “He was reluctant to marry, but Lincoln marries up,” says Stauffer. “That helped Lincoln a lot, and Lincoln knew he would be a better politician with Mary Todd as his wife. She was very important to Lincoln’s rise in politics.”

07of 08When his wife was away, Lincoln would sleep with a certain ‘Bucktail Soldier’In detailing Lincoln’s “emotional intimacy as well as physical intimacy” with his bodyguard Capt. David Derickson, the documentary quotes a November 1862 entry from the diary ofVirginia Woodbury Fox, the wife of Lincoln’s assistant secretary of the Navy. She wrote: “There is a Bucktail Soldier here devoted to the president, drives with him, and when Mrs. L is not home, sleeps with him. What stuff!““What stuff?” historian Dr. Jean Baker asks rhetorically. “What should we think about that? To me, I’m happy that Lincoln felt sufficiently strong in his own sexuality to have sex with the captain or simply have the captain hold his hand.”

07of 08

When his wife was away, Lincoln would sleep with a certain ‘Bucktail Soldier’

In detailing Lincoln’s “emotional intimacy as well as physical intimacy” with his bodyguard Capt. David Derickson, the documentary quotes a November 1862 entry from the diary ofVirginia Woodbury Fox, the wife of Lincoln’s assistant secretary of the Navy. She wrote: “There is a Bucktail Soldier here devoted to the president, drives with him, and when Mrs. L is not home, sleeps with him. What stuff!”

“What stuff?” historian Dr. Jean Baker asks rhetorically. “What should we think about that? To me, I’m happy that Lincoln felt sufficiently strong in his own sexuality to have sex with the captain or simply have the captain hold his hand.”

08of 08

Lincoln’s first love adored his ‘perfect’ thighs

An 1860 portrait of Abraham Lincoln.Fotosearch/Getty

Fotosearch/Getty

Herndon, who is considered one of the preeminent Lincoln biographers, is said to have had astrained relationshipwith Mary Todd. He died in 1891 at age 72 and was buried in Springfield’s Oak Ridge Cemetery, the site of the Lincoln Tomb.

source: people.com