Wilson Cruz SaysMy So-Called Life's Rickie Helped Give Queer People 'Permission to Own Our Fabulousness' (Exclusive)

Mar. 15, 2025

Wilson Cruz in Beverly Hills, California in May 2024.Photo:Jon Kopaloff/Getty

Jon Kopaloff/Getty

WhenWilson Cruzinitially received the script for 1994’sMy So-Called Lifewhilepreparing to read for the part of 15-year-old Rickie Vasquez, he instantly identified with the young teen.

“I remember reading it and thinking, ‘Oh wow, this is mylife.This was my life in high school,” he tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue. “I felt like somebody had followed me around and took notes or something. Right away it resonated with me on a cellular level. I honestly thought, ‘This is my role. I was born to play this part.’ … And I haven’t really had that feeling ever since.”

“He’s so charming, so much fun and such a ball of light — a beacon of light,” she explains, adding, “I think Wilson made the part work, made it work because of his lovability, his innate goodness.”

Claire Danes, Wilson Cruz and A.J. Langer on ‘My So-Called Life’ in 1994.Walt Disney Television via Getty

Walt Disney Television via Getty

Cruz, for his part, also drew inspiration from Sal Mineo’s portrayal of the outcast Plato Crawford inRebel Without a Cause,the character in love with Jim (James Dean) alongside Judy (Natalie Wood). The actor felt a similar dynamic occurred onMy So-Called Lifeamong Angela (Claire Danes), Jordan Catalano (Jared Leto) and Rickie.

“Rebel Without a Causewas a movie that I had loved growing up on, that I watched a lot, was familiar with, and I identified with the parallels pretty early on,” Cruz explains. “You knew that Sal Mineo had a crush on James Dean, but it was never spoken about. You knew that Rickie Vasquez had a crush on Jordan Catalano, but he also honored and was sensitive to the fact that he knew about how Angela felt about him."

DespiteMy So-Called Lifeairing only 19 episodes before its cancellation, Rickie managed to leave an inedible mark on viewers. In episode 11, entitled “Life of Brian,” he lets loose on the dance floor with Delia (Senta Moses) — a feel-good moment people still approach Cruz about.

“I think it’s because it’s such an unadulterated release of queer joy,” he says, adding, “These were two people who were so awkward and dealing with their own self-esteem and sense of where they belonged. And in that moment, they just didn’t care anymore. They justenjoyedeach other, enjoyed the music, enjoyed being alive for a minute and kind of threw off whatever obstacles and feelings of not belonging. They threw all of that off and just danced their little faces off.”

Wilson Cruz and A.J. Langer in ‘My So-Called Life’s’ pilot in August 1994.Walt Disney Television via Getty

Another particularly moving episode for Rickie, episode 15 entitled “So-Called Angels,” centered around Rickie leaving home and experiencing homelessness around the holidays. It also dealt with Patty (Bess Armstrong) overcoming her prejudices around the LGBTQ+ community.

Holzman recalls wanting to do a Christmas episode that dove beneath the superficial layers of glee and cheer.

“That is the episode where [Rickie’s] thrown out,” Holzman says, explaining that she wanted to explore “the idea of Christmas and how really painful holidays can be underneath all the sort of bullsh–, the fake love, the fake joy. There can be so much pain and rejection. I wanted to talk about that, but I also wanted to talk about what it’s like to get past that.”

For Cruz, who was on his own coming-out journey then, “So-Called Angels” was an “incredibly special” story to tell. “It allowed me to relive that experience, use it to serve other people who had the same experience, and leave it there on that stage floor and not feel like it was hanging over me anymore,” he explains.

Claire Danes, Wilson Cruz, A.J. Langer and Devon Gummersall in ‘My So-Called Life’ in September 1994.ABC Photo Archives/Disney General Entertainment Content via Getty

ABC Photo Archives/Disney General Entertainment Content via Getty

“It not lost on me how much [Rickie] means to people, especially queer people of color, because in many ways he gave us permission to just own our own fabulousness,” he says.

The actor recalls a moment during production when he received a letter from a young man in a “midwestern state.”“It meant so much to him to see Rickie Vasquez and to relate to him in that way, because he was in the closet and he can’t imagine ever telling his family,” Cruz recalls. “On the page, you could see where his teardrops fell and smeared the ink on the page. And I remember that like it was yesterday. because it came straight to the studio. I’d received some hate mail too, but not as much as the love mail.”

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“There would’ve been noDawson’s CreekorFreaks and Geeksor any of those shows withoutMy So-Called Lifesetting the stage for an audience to accept a drama about teenagers,” he says. “I think it resonates because you can change their clothes, you can change the music. You could put some phones in their hands at some point, or put them in poodle skirts back in the ’50s, and they could use the same exact language, because the experience of being an adolescent and figuring out who you are is universal.”

Wilson Cruz.Denys Ilic

Denys Ilic

Having come so far professionally and personally, Cruz now says he would tell his younger self — the unabashed 19-year-old who auditioned forMy So-Called Life’spilot — to follow his instincts around coming out in the ’90s.

“I think the political climate was right,” he says. “I would tell him to be prepared to answer for [Rickie] for the rest of his life, but I kind of think I knew that in the back of my head that this was something that would be definitive in many ways. I’m grateful for that, because I think he did set me up to be taken seriously as an actor. It opened many doors for me.Slowly, but they did open.”

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For younger members of the LGBTQ+ community on the path of self-discovery, Cruz offers some words of wisdom for them, too.

“There’s an entire community even outside of their immediate radius that is rooting for them, that they need to understand that they’re not alone, even if they feel that they are,” he offers. “There are people out here who understand what they’ve been through, because they’ve been through it themselves, and we’re going to fight like hell to make sure that their lives are easier than ours. So I would say, hold on. We’re here. We stand with you, andyou’re not alone.”All 19 episodes ofMy So-Called Lifeare available to stream on Hulu.

source: people.com